Rich parents are using the same technology Hollywood uses to map star’s faces to computer generated personalities, or avatars, to create characters in the latest killer application of 3-d technology: computerized parenting that sounds (and now looks) just like the actual parent.

Many times, a babysitter will be faced with a spoiled brat who uses the argument of, “My mother never makes me go to bed at nine” at which point the exasperated babysitter is forced to allow the child to say up late and eat far too many chips in a can.

No longer. !

Now, with the flick of a mouse, the babysitter can call up the image of the mother saying, “No!” or any of several thousand other negative expressions, such as, “It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends!” and my favorite, “Drop Dead!”

Of course, the father is still the stricter of the two parents, rarely seen on screen and instead hinted at by the mother, “Wait until your father gets back from Sudan where he’s making very important oil deals!”

The father is scanned mainly as entertainment for the babysitter, who is attracted to older men, and will, of course, eventually replace the mother in real and artificial life.

That’s why soon, we’ll all be scanned at key moments in our lives, so that our personal avatars can be given as gifts or curses or hostages to each other.

Been dumped by some lousy guy?

Use the latest hack!

“Hey Jenny, wanna see my ex beat the crap out of himself?”

We All Can’t Wait.